Agents of Awesome
by The Bickering Kingdom
Summary: A semi sequel to Things Agents of Shield are not allowed to do which I wrote and am still currently writing A03. Crack fic. Contains a robotic Monkey and lots of crafty planning to get Philinda to happen.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Agents of Shield or the Avengers, or anything else Marvel.

"This is all your fault" Skye hissed, glaring at Jo, who'd been a member of shield for all of five minutes.

"It's actually half Fitz' fault, but whatever" Jo muttered, ducking as Cory threw a cup across the room.

Well, technically it was half his fault due to the fact he wanted a monkey and Jo wanted a robot so combining the two seemed like a great idea.

"You did most of the work and you named it Cory I'm blaming you completely"

Cory let out a screech and as he threw more stuff around.

"Cory is not an It he is a robotic monkey and he was doing great up until he went crazy"

Cory stopped and made a whirring noise an fell to the ground.

Skye looked around at the damage Cory had and caused then at Jo, "I'm not explaining this Coulson or May."

"I'll explain it to them after I have helped Fitz build a new robotic monkey" Jo declared, picking up Cory of the ground. She was sad at Cory's demise and excited at the prospect of making Cory 2.

"Jo, you're not to help Fitz build a robotic monkey ever again and you can clean up this mess"

9\. Not allowed to help Fitz build a robotic monkey ever again. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Agents of Shield.

"I'm dying and the only way to save me is for you and May together immediately" Skye told Coulson in a very serious tone of voice.

"Yeah, and last week the world was going to end in twenty-four unless we got together, we didn't and the world is still here so don't be offended that I don't believe" Coulson said, not looking up from his paperwork but if Skye looked closely she would have seen a small smile on his face.

"Fine, I won't die but Philinda has to happen and soon because you two together would be so very awesome" Skye whined in frustration, because why couldn't the pair see what everyone could see and that they'd be perfect together.

"Philinda?,"

"That's your and May's ship name, we call you two that all the time while we plot behind your back to get you together" Skye explained.

"Well you and whoever else is in on it can go an plot some more because I'm very busy right now" Coulson said, using his that is an order and not request voice.

Skye glared, then sighed and muttered something about "Not fair" and "The sooner Philinda happened the better".

"And Skye neither you or any other agent are allowed to claim your dying unless May and I get together"

1 No Agent is to claim they will die unless Coulson and May get together. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Agents of Shield or the Avengers.

Part 1

Coulson, May, Skye, Jemma and Jo were on board the bus. They were going to meet up with Tony Stark because he had something Shield desperately needed. Not only would Tony be there, but also the rest of the Avengers and Coulson thought it'd be the perfect time to reveal he was still alive.

Skye, Jo and reluctantly after much whining from the other two Jemma had a better way to reveal the news to them. All they had to was convince Coulson was that their way was the best way.

"If you do this I'll never ask anything else from you ever" Skye promised, bouncing in her seat like an excited child.

"How many times do I have to say no for it sink in that I will not pretend to be a zombie before you believe me?" Coulson asked, before letting out a sigh.

"Come on Coulson you know you want to, don't make me make Skye beg because I will" Jo threatened, which led to Skye tapping her foot against Jo's shin because she doesn't see why it always has to be her that has to beg until Coulson caves.

"Skye begging until I give in because I want to keep my sanity isn't going to happen this time"

"Here comes the begging and the massive headache" Jemma sighed, it'd be much easier if Coulson just agreed to these things.

"Please with triple cherries and loads of Hydra dead bodies will you do this?" Was spoken nonstop for ten minutes, then the next wave came with just "Please" over again until Jemma suggested "I say we just go ask May and get her to make him it'd be a lot easier"

48 Not allowed to beg Coulson to pretend to be a Zombie to scare the people who still think he is dead. 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Agents of Shield or The Avengers.

Part 2

Phil Coulson wasn't sure he was unhappy about the fact he was being made up to look like a zombie, he had to pretend he was zombie to the Avengers or May had sided against him hence the whole pretending to be a zombie thing.

There was half an hour before they landed and he hoped that he could somehow talk his way out it.

"Skye after everything I've done for you can't you talk the other out of this?" Coulson asked, almost begging.

"A.C I'd love to but this will be hilarious, even May agrees and no one is actually forcing you to do this because technically your the boss. So my theory is that you're doing this because it'll make May smile not a smirk or a fake smile, but an actual smile" Skye said then smirking when Coulson started scowling because he knew she was right.

"Anyway you look just about zombie as I can get you, I'm gonna go see what Jemma and Jo are doing"

"Kill It, Kill It!" Screamed Tony, as Coulson ducked out of the way avoiding an Arrow Barton had fired.

"What dark magic is this?"

"Is anyone else just a little disappointed that all it takes to turn the male members of the Avengers into screaming little girls is Coulson made up like a zombie?"Skye asked, before laughing as Thor pushed Tony over.

"Yep" Jemma replied.

"I'm just glad that May rung Natasha informed her before hand of Coulson being alive, about the prank and to get Bruce out of here, because otherwise we'd be dealing with the Hulk" Jo said, watching as May went over to protect Coulson.

"Is Captain America hiding behind a Sofa?" Jemma asked.

"Yeah, I guess he's a little freaked out by a dead man being here or well a once dead man pretending be a zombie" Skye answered, before spotting Jo crawling on the ground. "Jo, what are you doing?"

"WHILE MAY STOPS COULSON GETTING KILLED AND EXPLAINS HE'S BEEN ALIVE ALL THIS TIME I'M GONNA GO HIT ON STEVE" Jo shouted, over the noise the Avengers were making.

Suddenly the noise stopped, everything went silent for a thirty seconds before Tony said "Hey its good news your alive Coulson buddy and I'm going to hunt down Fury for not telling us sooner".

48 Not allowed to beg Coulson to pretend to be a Zombie to scare the people who still think he is dead. 


End file.
